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Velocipastor | Much Better Than You Expect

Velocipastor | Much Better Than You Expect

Velocipastor | Much Better Than You Expect: With a title like Velocipastor—a movie about a priest who transforms into a killer dinosaur—and a premise as ridiculous as that, it’s only natural to assume it will be bad while hoping it will be so bad it’s “good.”

Velocipastor | Much Better Than You Expect


Sincere Paropdy

While this may be the case, the film does not deliver on this expectation for a very good reason. A sincere parody, Velocipastor knows what it is and how to make it funny. And it could be even better if it were a little bit shorter.

It’s amazing how well Velocipastor pulls off the gag as a film after starting out as a parody movie trailer in 2011. (that only clocks in around 70 minutes).

Everything about this movie is as ridiculous as the premise suggests, but in the most enjoyable way possible. Upon his return from China.

A bereaved pastor discovers that he has been infected with an ancient and dangerous curse that giving him the ability for transforming into a dinosaur when angry.

For ridding the world of bad guys, he turns to eating and maiming them as a means of self-expression after teaming up with a sage “sex worker with a heart of gold.”

There are also ninjas to contend with. And then there are the drugs. Also, flashbacks to the Vietnam War. Then there’s the witch doctor, who practises voodoo magic.

Casting, Funny Pimps

It is all as ridiculous as it sounds, and that’s without revealing any of the surprises or the intentionally stupid characters that populate it.

There is a funny pimp in this film but the performances are strong because of a committed cast that mostly keeps things straight.)

As a result, Velocipastor wants to have a good time with you by making you laugh.

Isn’t it just one big parody of all the different types of movies and stories out there? You’ll see bits and pieces from popular movies such as The Da Vinci Code and An American Werewolf in London.

You’ll also hear references to movies about troubles priests, ’70s action flicks, and war movies. This is a parody of stories and stereotypes you’ve seen a million times.

The jokes about character and storytelling are also quite clever and subtle.

Story Line

However, this does not imply that everything, no matter how large or small, will work. At one point in the film, two over-the-top ninjas engage in a clichéd maniacal laugh that goes on for far too long.

Giving the impression that the movie is taking itself way too seriously. Without acknowledging the fourth wall, Velocipastor’s jokes do all the heavy lifting.

And yes, after 30 minutes, the film begins to sag due to the one-note gag of a priest becoming a dinosaur.

Even though the film suffers from a few hiccups along the way (such as an overlong sexual scene that appears to exist solely to justify the licencing fee for the song).

It manages to keep the audience entertained until the very end. Embracing its low budget rather than trying to be clever in making any “special effects” or costumes look good helps the movie.

This film’s best moments come from sight gags that play on our sense of absurdity. This is all topped off by the wise decision to pull a Jaws and wait until the very end to show us the full dinosaur transformation.

The Film’s Potential To Be A Great Comedy Or Not? 

If Velocipastor becomes a midnight movie cult classic, it will not come as a shock. Many of the dialogue lines will be enjoyable to yell out loud in a movie theatre because they are so good.

There are far worse films to revisit than Velocipastor’s hour and ten minutes, but if it was trimmed down to 45 minutes or less, it could be fantastic.

That’s a bigger shock than a priest turning into a dinosaur, considering we were hoping it would be so bad it will be “good.”

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